A Letter to the One Who Holds My Heart
I want to share something deeply personal, something that has been weighing on my heart. This is not just a message; it’s a reflection of the journey I’ve been on — a journey of growth, healing, and transformation.
To the one who holds my heart,
I want you to know that the pain you’re feeling is tied to who I was in the past. The version of me that caused heartache, that brought tears to your eyes and left you questioning everything — we both know that person well. But today, I stand before you as someone new, someone who has grown into the butterfly you always wanted to see. However, I fear that if you hold on too tightly to the past, you might only see that butterfly as something harmful, not the beautiful transformation it truly is.
Right now, my life is good. I’m content, and on the surface, it might seem like I have everything I need. But the truth is, there’s a part of me that feels incomplete without you. Your absence dims the happiness I feel, casting a shadow over the light that once shined so brightly between us.
Lately, life has led me down a path of deep devotion to my Kanha. You know better than anyone how much I love him, how he has been my guiding light, especially during the darkest times. And in this love, I’ve found a belief — one that tells me Kanha wants us to be together. I trust in him completely, and I believe that the “heartache because of me” that you mentioned is no longer something to fear. Kanha knows, as I do, that the person I’ve become is someone who would never cause harm to anyone, least of all to you. I’ve seen that in myself, and I’ve proven it to myself.
I understand your fear, the fear of being hurt again. It’s something that I would never dismiss, because I know how real it is. But I promise you this: the person I am now, the person standing before you today, is not capable of that hurt. The old Alex, the one who made mistakes and caused pain — he’s gone. In his place is someone who has learned, healed, and grown into a better version of himself.
I’m not trying to convince you of anything, nor am I asking for anything in return. I simply want you to know that despite everything that has happened between us, I have loved you and still love you in the purest form. This time, though, I’m going to live in that love, feel it, and give it freely, without expecting anything in return.
So when you think of the person who hurt you, the person you say you’d rather let your heart ache without than because of — know that he’s no longer here. This is the new Alex, the butterfly you once dreamed of. But the choice is yours now. I’ve accepted my past, my mistakes, every wound, and every hurt. And despite it all, my love for you remains unshaken.
If you choose to come back to me, I will love you with everything I have and give you all the love in the world. But if you choose to walk a different path, know that I will continue to love you silently, without ever disrupting your life.
To the one who holds my heart, my love for you will never fade. It will remain, pure and true, in every beat of my heart and every breath I take.
This is my truth, shared openly and honestly, for you and for anyone who has ever known the depth of love and the pain of growth. Thank you for taking the time to read my words.
With all my heart,
Alex
