108 Days Without You, Yet You’re Still Here in My Heart
It’s been 108 days since you left, yet it feels like you’re still here, tucked away in a corner of my heart that no time or distance can erase. These days haven’t just been about missing you, they’ve been about rediscovering myself, about understanding life in ways I never thought possible. Following Kanha’s path has brought me a kind of clarity I didn’t know I needed. Not just about life, but about my emotions, my thoughts, and most importantly, my soul.
Everything has changed. My life feels different. My thoughts have slowed, my reactions softened, my ability to love unconditionally has deepened. I’ve learned to be calm in storms that would’ve drowned me before. But one thing hasn’t changed, and I’m so grateful for that: my love for you. If anything, it has only grown. With every passing moment, I realize just how deeply I love you, in a way I never thought I could.
Before, it was different. I used to move on quickly. A month of sadness, of hollow feelings, and then suddenly, the weight would lift, and I’d feel nothing for the person I was once so consumed by. But you? You’re different. You didn’t just leave a mark, you became a part of me. Even after 108 days, I still wear your hair rubber around my wrist, as if it’s a tether to a time when we were us. Not for a single second has it left me.
Kanha teaches us about detachment, about loving without expectations. And I’ve tried to embrace that. I don’t hold onto you in the way that cages or suffocates. Instead, I carry you like a soft breeze, always present, always gentle, never heavy. You’ve become a source of calm for me, even in your absence. I didn’t think love like this was possible, especially when the person you love isn’t there anymore. But here I am, loving you more deeply than I ever thought I could.
This isn’t about asking you to come back. I understand that your choices are your own, and I respect them with every fiber of my being. This is about letting you know that the person I’ve become, calmer, clearer, more grounded, exists because of what we had. I’ve learned to love without needing to possess. I’ve learned to find peace in the memories we created and in the love that still lives within me.
I know our lives have changed. We’ve both grown in different ways. Everything feels different now. But if you were to give it a chance, I can promise you one thing: this time, it would be all about happiness, calmness, peace, and only love, just love. Because of who I’ve become, I know I can be that source of calm for you too, a place of safety, of light, and of unwavering peace.
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this. Maybe you’ve moved on, maybe you’ve deleted Medium, or maybe this will never find its way to you. But I truly hope, from the deepest part of my heart, that it does. That somehow, in some way, these words reach you.
And maybe, just maybe, one day, you’ll see the person I’ve become. Not because I need you to, but because I’d love for you to know the depth of what you’ve inspired in me.
From Jayj to his Kie
